Memorabilia of IMS

The secrets? Eat often in small scale. Proven Excercise?

I don’t feel like falling at the moment.

Am tired.

Somebody has something with my supposed-to-be girlfriend.

Am frustrated.

QUITE COMPLICATED.

He didn’t mean so, it just happens.

I don’t know. And don’t want to know.

I just don’t talk to him about her anymore.

We pretend that nothing happens.

Yet I know she always calls him everynight (till dawn?).

I sleep next to him, I know who’s calling, who’s he texting to.

Though he tries to disguise her name.

Am hurt.

My heart’s crippled.

I don’t know who to choose.

He’s a good friend forever.

She’s my first love.

I make believe that there is no

first,

and there is no

forever.

Am confused.

I love her physical,

but am in love with his soul.

Somebody has to be sacrificed (stoned-to-death, maybe?).

I think that’s ME.

Can’t imagine myself without him.

We always had a good laugh together.

A good talk together.

A good eat.

Now he’s leaving for quite a time.

I never had a permanent roommate, but am comfortable enough with a bestfriend like him.

I don’t mind staying single as long as I got companionship. Friendship is more beautiful than anything else.

I’ve lost an inspiration.

Somebody who will stand for what he believes in,

Somebody who will definitely help you when you’re in need,

Somebody who will wake up early in the morning and says ‘Hi’ to God,

Somebody who will stay stick to the prayer mat a bit longer just to get close to God,

Somebody who takes study as a life-long learning by writing notes and practise what’s learned,

Somebody who doesn’t mind sharing his foods (this is the most important part)

Am lost.

I need to redeem myself sooner.

So, take good care of yourself.

Bring back the new you - full of life experiences that worth sharing.

After 6 months in Brisbane, I bet things changed. Positively, of course.

Just remember that my prayer is there for you.

To Sir With Love

This semester has started to get exciting!

Last semester we had our drama course which was not my cup of lemon ice tea. I wasn’t really into it at first because I hate it to express myself (I kind of person who keeps everything inside.. oh well), and to express other people’s self (you see, representing a King in the final production). But there’s something I like about this course, it’s more to practical stuff than overly brain-torturing theories like the other subjects. In fact, that’s the only time I can get crazy. When I say that, I really mean it and it’s part of the course – or else the lecturer will say am not expressive enough.

Let alone the tragic kesat, the ala military course that mostly focus on marching. No matter how useless it is to our life as a teacher… except that if we get low grades, it will kill ourselves in the final result. So, why not getting the best out of it, anyway? I did. Joining the competition (read Taufik’s blog here, quite interesting) was helpful in getting the marching steps quicker and faster as other people who only practice once a week while we practice for a bout 2 weeks straight – luckily it’s being held at night – I don’t have to worry about getting sunburn, yet got opportunity for fatburn.

It’s all over now. The memories are not too deep as the torturing from both courses are not that critical. People say that things which don’t kill you, will only make you stronger. I do not know how stronger I am, perhaps, based on final result, I managed to get a stronger grade compare to the other course. Is this what they mean, really?

I was at KLCC when I received this message:

“Haha.tnggu aku br0.kputusan dah keluar.cuak bt0l aku.” (Sender: Amin)

And another cheerfully sounded SMS:

“result da kuar.result da kua.go check at student portal.” (Sender: Dayl)

Half of me begged to check the result ASAP, while the other half preferred to do it later when I was home. I knew that I couldn’t stand the pain anymore. The pain of waiting in nervousness.

I knew that I wouldn’t do well this time, but I prayed to God badly to forgive my effortless attempt to get myself into deans list once again. That’s what I hoped for, thinking that I had been wasting much time this semester.

So, using my Sony K750i phone, I logged into GPRS system and ALHAMDULILLAH, this was what I got (real image):

Yet, it was like a smash on the face. It dropped by 0.13. I knew that I had to work harder next semester to sustain the result. And to stop wasting time. But well, it worth it as I had learnt to cope with the busy life and the city. I mean, culture shock.

If there are things that I would like to fulfill before I die, they are:

Mom’s wish:

1. To get me a descent hot wife (she would like to find a religious, rich, good genes, good looks wife sooner). And somebody who lives nearby. She did give clue about my primary schoolmate.. I still remeber her name and look clearly. If it’s so.. heaven!
2. To see me dive and explore the underwater (she keeps urging me to learn). Actually she wanted to do this, but thinking of her age, she prefers her son to make her proud.

Dad’s wish:

1. To witness me successfully collaborate multimedia and English teaching lesson. And sell them.
2. To see me working at another ASEAN country as it was his dream. (He did apply to go to Cambodia under science division, but Government doesn’t allow him - security factor)
3. To see me pursue my studies in master and PHd. He only managed to get to Master, so that he would like his son to do better. InshaALLAH dad!

Would you still say I’m stupid if I say I’ll take a bullet for you?

Would you still consider me to be stupid if I say I’d rather die than see YOU die?

Would you still see me as just a big bag of stupid when I slapped the guy who just called you a whore?

Because, you know what…I would take a bullet for you. Two, three, I don’t care how many, because I know you would do the same.

And I know you would rather yourself to get killed than see me die, because I know you love me just as much.

And I know you wouldn’t care if you get beaten to death for doing some “stupid” thing to defend my honor, because I know you can’t stand to see me down.

Retrieved from: Phye

Taufik and Farah had rolled the ball. So, I would like to continue, though I know I wouldn’t be able to roll as fast and far as them..

1st audience says, “Im, maybe you’re a bit nervous because you’re late. Somehow the way you delivered your speech was way too relaxed. It would be better if you could vary your intonation.”

2nd says, “The topic was really interesting! The speaker however is noticably feeling unwell. There is a lack of eye contact and the speaker was almost too dependent on the text.”

3rd says, “Not prepared? I’m frustrated. Too much reading. Physical appearance was good though. Smart-looking.”

4th says, “In order to persuade people, show your friendly facial expression and gesture, please.”

5th says, “I’ve read a book from CAP (Consumer Association of Penang) that told about the same facts. You need to give more justifications. Interesting topics, though.”
After finishing my speech, I felt so down. Not because the comments, but of myself. A friend of mine contacted me asking about something else, but I had no other thing to say than to share the pains.

And then he wrote on a piece of paper, “Good speaker, nice look, very relaxed, and confident. You got style, personality. You’re not prepared but that’s not important.”

I burst into laugh. Little did he know how important this is to me. How important it is for me to share the knowledge, to save the world from conspiracy. I knew I could do better, but I did these stupid mistakes:

1. I usually started doing the speech outline earlier, but this time I was spending too much time to look for a book that I didn’t get to the last time. When I can simply refer the facts on the net.
2. I spent a week at my brother’s house. And that was the last week before the delivery of my speech.
3. I only returned back to hostel on the eve of the speech day. Worse, it wasn’t my hostel, but my friend’s hostel because I need to send him back home after we hung out at Sunway Pyramid. Worst, I hadn’t started anything yet.
4. I only started doing the outline in the morning, 2 hours before delivering my speech. Was supposed to be the 1st presenter but I came late. I wore my friend’s expensive formal outfit, with a pair of SLIPPERS!
5. I wanted to show some slideshows, but I only managed to show 1 slide during my speech because I felt so nervous and I completely forgot to click the next slide.
6. I made mistake by reading from texts when I can simply talk infront of the audience (my last speech had been done impromptu and it was OK, this time it kills!)

*Update: Heard that there are some failures this time. KILL ME & SEND ME HOME, PLEASE! To fail means to repeat the course. For all my life, that’s the last thing that I wish to happen in this programme.

*Update: Went to check the result. The instructor only stated the 1st speech+1st test marks. My cumulative marks: 34 over 50. Saw some people got below than 30. But who knows they perform well in the speech? They’ll surely get over me. I don’t care. I only want to PASS!

I unintentionally met her and an old memory replays…

“Between a friend and a partner, which one is more important?” A best girl friend of mine had asked.

I answered, “Friend.”

She refuted, “But friends always leave. A partner remains.”

By the time my heart broke already. A platonic friendship that I thought would last forever ended because of those words.

Why couldn’t she see me? I never leave her. I could be her truest and the bestest friend but she didn’t feel it. I had been wasting my time for her.

Just because of a guy, she leaves me. Not just me. The entire friendship. She didn’t leave me, that’s for real. But I chose not to remain anymore.

You hate them,

You curse them,

You condemn them,

Sorry, I am one of them.

Will you hate me?

Will you curse me?

Will you condemn me?

Will you do all and hurt me though you had promised not to?

I know that you won’t do. But I can’t afford to disappoint you.

So, goodbye.

I hope you’re happy, too.

Ps. Respect people for who they are, regardless their region, race, religion etc.